A divorce inevitably means major changes for a family. When there are children in the household, many significant adjustments are necessary during and after divorce. Parents transition from living full-time with their children to a shared custody arrangement.
If the children in the family are older, they may have strong responses to the news of the divorce. They may blame one parent for the changes to the family. Other times, the children may have long had a stronger connection with one parent than the other.
Do parents need to worry about their children or teenagers refusing to see them in a shared custody scenario?
Children don’t dictate custody terms
Children generally lack the ability to consider the long-term consequences of their choices. For as long as a child is still a minor, they are technically subject to the legal authority of their parents. Most of the time, that means they have to abide by the decisions their parents make regarding what church they attend, what sports they participate in and what medical care they receive.
Parents are technically the ones subject to the terms of a custody order, but they have an obligation to ensure that their children abide by the provisions of the custody order as well. If a child or teenager refuses to see one parent, the other parent should make every reasonable effort to encourage their compliance. The failure to do so could result in the other parents seeking custody enforcement from the courts or even requesting a modification of the current custody order.
When establishing a custody order, judges take numerous factors into consideration. The preferences of a child or teenager can be one of those considerations. The judge must evaluate the maturity level and understanding of a child or teenager. The wishes of the young adult and the justification they provide for those preferences can influence how much weight a judge gives the child’s wishes.
Children do not get to dictate the terms of their custody arrangements. They cannot refuse to see one parent or insist on terms that align with their personal preferences. A parent dealing with a strained relationship with one of their children still has the right to see the child regularly and to share parenting time.
Parents who understand the factors that guide child custody determinations can confidently pursue a reasonable allocation of parental rights and responsibilities when they divorce. Recognizing that a child’s wishes are not more important than their long-term best interests can help parents more confidently seek shared custody or speak up if they’re denied their parenting time.
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